discussing racism with students (student teaching learning log)

[This was a "learning log" from my first student teaching; "TJ" = my cooperating teacher.]

10/17
Ongoing mutiny in my "Power" class. The students complain that I don't let them finish their ideas, that I seem too eager to force my opinions on them, that I squash discussion. I know I've been doing this ever since we first started to discuss racism.

I thought I had laid a careful groundwork of understanding about intelligence--that it is complex and not a known quantity, that tests of intelligence are fraught with bias and assumptions, that much injustice has been done in the name of intelligence.

But, as soon as I got to Eugenics, the skepticism of intelligence and intelligence tests that I thought I had created, did not hold up. Students were arguing that "Asians are smarter than white people," even though they did not dare say the corollary assumptions about races that are "dumber" than white people. I panicked and ever since then I have felt more like I'm indoctrinating than encouraging discussion.

But, we are talking about racism and I'm not sure how to discuss racism without trying to push my viewpoint. Especially in view of what happened with Danielle--that occurred on a day when I was trying to listen to "all points of view" without judgment.

Students seem uncomfortable with the topic of racism (they fidget, change the subject, get sullen, get distracted) and their labeling of viewpoints as "racist" seems random at times. For example, while reading Lisa Delpit on language and literacy, one (white) student told me she was offended that Delpit commented about how "some Black students speak;" the student pointed out that some white students speak that way too. On being pressed, she couldn't explain how this was relevant or changed Delpit's thesis, but she insisted that she was offended.

A more significant example occurred when two-thirds of the students attacked me for even writing Madison's disparity in graduation statistics on the board--they said it "didn't matter" and that we "shouldn't talk about that." I took a whole day to ask them, "what do you mean, it 'doesn't matter'?" We talked about "what is racism," "should it be talked about," "does it matter." It seemed like they arrived at some kind of collective conclusion, but then they don't seem to remember that conclusion or apply it to other discussions. References to it just bring blank stares.

I feel somewhat trapped by my subject: I insist on continuing to discuss racism, rather than cut & run because it's difficult and uncomfortable, and yet, as we discuss it, I cannot feel that I should just let "all viewpoints be heard."

The result is that I am stressed and focused on trying to get them to see things my way--it feels all wrong. They are less and less engaged in the lessons, and more and more sullen. They seem more likely to seek to give the "right" answer, rather than their opinion. And, I seem to be asking more questions with "right" answers rather than facilitating a stimulating and open-ended discussion.

For next quarter, I will not try to teach classes that have a particular agenda. Both classes this quarter could have been 30-page papers with a thesis statement and supporting paragraphs--in other words, I had something to prove to the students and I set out to do it. This put me in the difficult position described above. Instead, I will look at questions that I'm more comfortable having be open-ended. I won't avoid racism, but I may avoid questions that have possible racist answers (like, "Why is there an achievement gap between white children and children of color?"). At least, that seems like a reasonable strategy.

My partner R also suggested that I try to do topics where I don't have to decide "what should I teach next week?" -- where I can focus on developing teaching skills, rather than on digging up and presenting content.

She's right--I feel that I've spent too much time working hard to create the intellectual progression that will supposedly create new understandings, and not enough time practicing the basic craft and skills of teaching--different lesson plans, different activities, different approaches.

In considering possible courses I am trying for things that either have their own clear progression built in (events over time) or that are more open-ended (chew on a single question from multiple perspectives in no particular order). This would also allow me to focus on helping students develop their skills.