may it be so

To help me prepare for job interviews etc., I decided to try to envision myself beginning the school year in the fall. What will be my priorities? What will my class be like? How will I be ready? This is what I wrote. Then I thought I might as well post it here.

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On the first day of school, fall 2005, I walk into my classroom prepared to welcome MY VERY OWN CLASS. Everything is ready. My curriculum is outlined for the year; it's ready in detail through the end of October. My curriculum is not complicated, but it is challenging.

1) I start from square one in terms of skills. A student without much English, a student without much academic preparation, a student without much experience of the physical world, a student with disabilities--all students find it accessible because it begins by assuming they are learners and have learned a lot, without assuming anything about what they have learned up to now.

2) Each lesson builds on the next one, gradually developing students' academic *and* group-work skills, and gradually deepening their understanding of the material, as well as their understanding of how to study history and society.

3) The lessons are all cooperative, with an individual final product. They all follow a model of scaffolding: more support, gradually decreasing support, to finally, individual accomplishment.

4) The lessons involve students doing the work. I will not be rushing around doing the work, and students will not be waiting for me to help them. They will be able to help themselves and each other. The lesson's goal will be clear at the outset and will require a minimum of explanation to get started. The end point is clear but the process is something they have to work out together. First with more support, later with less.

In this vision in my mind, I know what I'm doing because I have planned carefully. I have everything I need. I have rehearsed my first day alone and with an audience. I know what I will say. Everything that I will say and do for this first day is so thoroughly prepared that I can focus my main attention on the students--I can observe them, interact with them, relax with them. Being unprepared in any way will mean less observation, less interaction, less relaxation.

When they come in, I welcome them at the door with enthusiasm. They know they are in the right room, they have an assigned seat and an assignment to begin working on right away. Everything is ready.

The atmosphere is serious but not pressured. It is an atmosphere of hard work, but also of calm.

They will learn skills and content. They will learn to work together. They will learn to trust themselves and believe in their own point of view. They will learn first that they will never be humiliated in my class; later they will learn not to fear humiliation or anything that can happen to them in school. They will become resilient, self-reliant, confident, calm. They will learn to cope with difficult emotions in a mature manner.

Because I am prepared, that first day and afterward, I will be calm. Not everything will go as I've planned, and that's to be expected. I will be flexible and relaxed. I will have my priorities in the right order: (1) safety: the children will feel safe in my class, safe from any disrespect or cruelty coming from me, or from each other. (2) learning: the children will learn a lot in my class. They will learn because they will do the work.

I will not over-react to things that are not a priority. Students who do things I didn't plan for them to do, will not upset or alarm me, because I know what the priorities are. And, I will be confident in my understanding of what is happening--I will listen to my instincts. If they are safe and learning, then I will not react to what they are doing. If they need to be redirected to safety and learning, I can do that too. That's all that is required of me, since I have done all the really hard work in advance. The learning is all planned out, and the learning is all the students' work. All I need to do is help them stay focused and clarify any questions. It's really not that hard at all.

I will be very patient and calm, although I will also secretly be elated, that first day. This is my class. At last. After so many years and so much work. This is my class.

May it be so, let it be so, I want it so much. Just have to get there.